Darling Wifey sent me this. Perhaps I handled the Ninja Cow all wrong and should have simply opened the liquor cabinet.
KALLMUNZ, Germany – This is a very simple story. Man gets bull. Man loses bull. Man gets bull back after gets drunk on two bottles of vodka.
It all went down in the area around Kallmunz near Regensburg. About six months ago, the bull escaped its owner and went rogue, reportedly hiding out in the Bavarian woods for most of that time. According to Bavarian Rudfunk radio, the bull was causing concern in the area.
The desperate owner initially appealed to a local veterinary office for permission to shoot and kill the bull. He was denied. Over the course of six months, the owner then attempted to shoot the bull with tranquilizers. But the bull eluded him repeatedly.
The bull found his match in a local farmer whose yard he frequented. The farmer’s first attempts to apprehend the bull proved unsuccessful. He tried catch him with a rope while it was eating from a bucket but the suspicious bull wandered off as the farmer approached. The farmer was too concerned with the bull’s health to fire off a tranquilizer so he turned to a bottle of vodka in hopes of slowing him down.
Again, the bull toyed with his foe, gobbling down a mix of grain and vodka and then going on his way. But the farmer was not to be outwitted by a bull. A few nights later, he attempted the same move again, but this time with two bottles of vodka.
The bull saddled up to the bucket and took down the massive cocktail, after which he was apparently sluggish enough that the farmer was able to get a rope around his neck and cajole him into a barn.
The bull was returned to his owner and is currently on the ninth of the twelve steps. He was seen apologizing throughout the Kallmunz region.