Hotdogs are coming on Friday (fingers crossed)

I REALLY want to have products in the store that you like. The new hotdogs we started carrying have absolutely been a hit with everyone. So much so that we ran out almost immediately.

I’ve tried to politely nudge our processor, asking if please, PLEASE, PLEASE! can we have some hotdogs? Just a few packs, anything?! But despite my gentle prodding, we haven’t been able to get our hotdogs which have been on order for over a month. I’m not upset with them, this is just a matter of learning their cycle and planning for it. I worked in a business where we had to commit to our orders, in a VERY cyclical industry, nine months in advance. These were non-cancellable and totaled in the millions. I understand lead times.

However Saturday I received no less than 6 personal requests for hotdogs from customers. Some were phone calls from customers asking if they were back in. Some were texts. Some were people in the store. The 7th request was from Lucy. The 8th was from SWMBO herself.

Now I love my customers. I hate saying no to them. It breaks my heart. It breaks my wallet. But I’m not afraid of my customers. SWMBO? That’s a different story.

Kathy Bates with knife
This isn’t actually my darling Mrs. But….

SWMBO REALLY likes the hot dogs. As do the kids. In fact, of our initial order, I think she used half of it. As soon as she started raving about how awesome they were, I sent another hog to the butcher. When they didn’t show for a couple of weeks and she gently prompted that she’d prefer it if I produced some hotdogs, like right now, I sent another two whole hogs to the butcher (that’s about 800 lbs of meat just for hotdogs).

Now she’s at the point of politely expressing her displeasure in my inability to manage the flow of hotdogs. That maybe I should take this farming thing, and the whole providing food for the family thing, a little more seriously.

I sent another whole hog to the processor, just for hotdogs.

Still none have arrived. She may have suggested that I should plan better if I knew what was good for me. Or maybe I should drive to the outer banks and pick up some hot dogs personally. You know, do something to solve this problem, like NOW!

“You know Honey, it would have been smart to have hot dogs for the 4th of July. Hot dogs and the 4th go together.”

That’s special marriage code words for, you’ve really screwed up, and you should expect your imminent demise at any point. 

So I’ll be going on a special diet of Things-I-know-she-cannot-have-poisoned. It’s all the rage with people trying to stay alive till the hot dogs show up on Friday. You’ll probably hear about it trending on Twitter.

For those of you not at the beach, we’ve finally heard back from the processor and they think they will have hotdogs for us on Friday. “There is a strong chance it will be Friday” they said. If not, you’ll find me in my office, sleeping on the couch and eating saltines.

But rest assured, if they show up Friday morning, you all will be the second to know.

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Dan is a dad, a husband, a business owner, a pilot, a sailor, a scuba diver, a machinist, a gunsmith, a welder, a woodworker, a day laborer, a teacher, a mentor and a writer. The short form of all the previous is he's a farmer.

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