Hide your children

I’m not sure how we could have an adult themed farm related news article but Darling Wifey has somehow managed it. Now we deal with adult themes on a farm. Any farm kid older than 8 will tell you it takes a boar and a gilt to make baby pigs. Well, those are extra farmy words. How about it takes a cow and a bull to make a calf. Maybe said 8 year old hasn’t connected the dots with how they arrived on this planet yet, but they know where baby goslings, baby chickens, and baby cows come from. With all that said, this farm related article is a bit more adult than normal so if your kids are in the room, send them to find a toy while you are laughing at this poor sod.

At least this happened in Britain.

A well used kitchen

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We are talking to different people currently about remodeling our kitchen. Its 32 years old so its about time. As I talk to different vendors I try to explain that our kitchen is used a lot and used hard. They knod knowingly like they have heard it before. I say, no, you don’t understand. I mean we REALLY use it a lot. Still they look placatingly at me. I was thinking on this when a single event occurred to me so thought I would document it. Maybe then I can direct these potential vendors here so they understand.

We decided to have some friends over for a party. I had a bunch of good coconuts from the Mexican farmers market. I decided that we would have an anti-winter theme and have umbrella drinks for the girls, complete with being served in the coconuts. Of course I had to involve a belt sander and other random tools but in the end we had tiki drinks and a lovely party with great friends.

The next day SWMBO went to open a cabinet and noted that the handle was broken (see picture above). Confused how this could be, she inquired with me, “What happened to the cabinet?”

Without pause or explanation I said, “There was a coconut incident.”

The funny part is she shrugged her shoulders and has never mentioned it again. “There was a coconut incident” was sufficient. I didn’t need to explain the saber I was using trying to cut the top of the coconut off or anything else. Just another day at Ninja Cow Farm kitchen.

So vendors, when I say we use our kitchen hard, we aren’t just talking about butchering animals on the island. I mean there is flying fruit and whirling knives. Please plan accordingly.