First timer’s FAQ

What kind of crazy name is Ninja Cow Farm?

I get asked about our name all the time. First, the origin of the name is well documented here.

Second, all the “normal” farms sound the same to me. Happy Valley Farm, Rolling Meadow Farm, Shady Oak Farm. All very nice sounding, all very forgettable. Cows with swords? That one sticks around in the noggin.

What are your hours? Can I just stop by?

Our hours are available at this link. During those hours you can stop by to visit the store. 

Do you have milk? Today? Right now? How many gallons? How about chicken breasts? Ribeyes? 
I have no idea. I know, I know. I’m the farmer. I’m supposed to know. I know that on Wednesdays I go get milk from our dairy operation. I put it in the cooler in the store and one of the ladies arranges it and sells it when she gets in. After I drop it off, I’m clueless. I know that once a month I get another cow in and restock the freezers. Pork comes on an irregular schedule.

Once I drop off the product, I’m on to the next thing. Maybe hauling hay. Maybe attending a volleyball game. Maybe flying (My outside job is flying) a jet to Teterboro. Or Nassau. I spend about 10 minutes a week in the store, 9 of which is unloading the products. If you want to know what we have, call the store during store hours and ask whoever answers the phone. They will be looking right at the cooler and can tell you what we have. 919-322-0197. 

I’m coming from (insert seemingly far away place). Can you hold milk for me? 

For this one, you can blame your peers. We used to hold milk for people. We no longer do because people would not show up after calling. When this happens we are tossing a gallon of expensive milk AND we told 7 people we were out of milk while they were staring at your gallon sitting right there in plain view. They also drove from a distance. If you’ve been coming for years, and by now you know Jeanette, she MIGHT hold a gallon for you. But only if I don’t know about it. My answer is always no. 

But I’m driving all the way from (reinsert seemingly far away place). Can’t you make an exception for me? 

Sorry folks, like I said, I used to. People ruined it for you. 

Can I take a tour of your farm?

We are sorry to say that we are no longer giving tours of the farm. Our son and tour guide has graduated and gone to college. If there is some unique thing you think we might be able to accommodate you can reach out to farmer Dan via our contact form and see if he’s available. 

What was the tour like? What did we do?

So you missed the opportunity for a tour and want to see what you missed? One of our customers has a video production business and was extremely generous and produced this video. Sorry that we are just making it sad that you missed it, but I just couldn’t delete the video even though we no longer offer tours. 

What do you sell on your farm?

I no longer update the products page. The best option is always to call the farm during store hours and ask all your questions. We will be happy to help you. However, if you click on the link at the top of our page that says “Buy products” you will see a drop down list of items we did/do sell. If you click on the item that interests you, you will see information about that individual category. 

Are all of the products in your store from your farm?

We are proud to say, nope!

We are proud to support other small farmers like ourselves by bringing in their products and selling it in our store. Many small farmers cannot be a producer and a retailer both. They don’t have the size or the manpower to be both on the farm and at the farmers market. They also usually don’t have access to a market like we have in Raleigh because most farm land is out in the country.

By carrying their products in our store, it helps our customers because they have access to more selection. It helps us because it allows us to have a wider range of products to sell and because it makes our personal grocery store much better stocked.  And it helps the other farmers because they can sell their product without having to sit in the cold at a farmers market hoping somebody will buy something. It is a win, win, win.

What forms of payment do you take?

We take it all. Cash, checks, and all credit cards.

Do you have (insert cut of meat here) in stock?

Our availability varies by the day. We try to keep our different meat pages updated monthly for the big movements in product. You can view our beef, pork, or chicken  pages to see the updates however we have customers daily and there is no telling what they might have just wiped us out of. If you really need that one cut, call 919-322-0197 during store hours before you come to make sure we have it. If I know you need it, I’ll put it aside for you so it is ready when you get here.

Also, we are routinely short on steaks. We keep a signup sheet in our store so that our customers can reserve cuts of meat they are looking for. These orders are filled on a first come, first serve basis. That means when an animal is first processed, I bring the meat home and put it away. We then pull the order list and pull orders one by one till all orders are filled or we run out of that cut of meat. Then whatever is left over is what is for sale in the store. Getting added to the signup sheet is easy, but you have to be in the store, or a regular customer to do it. We don’t take reserve orders from first time customers.

Don’t see the cut of meat you are looking for? Need beef tendon? A rib roast? Something special? We take animals to processing routinely. Just give me a call and we can order whatever piece you need from our next animal to be processed.

Who is SWMBO, Spork, etc? What is with all the names?

SWMBO is actually an acronym. It stands for She Who Must Be Obeyed. Sadly, SWMBO will tell you I don’t actually obey her all that much but it is the nickname that stuck.

We don’t use our kids real names online for security reasons. I’m not sure it’s really effective but it is a requirement of SWMBO (see I do obey sometimes). I don’t actually call her SWMBO except online. It’s honey, sweetie, wifey, mom. Pretty much everything but her actual name.

 

The below pictures are from years ago, when the kids were little. 

Spork is my son, my oldest child. He works the farm with me when he isn’t homeschooling. I actually do call him Spork in real life.

The Princess is my middle daughter. She will introduce herself as Daggers ( a play on her name) or by her actual name. She and her sister do the baking and work the farm store.

Wildflower is my youngest daughter. She will introduce herself by her actual name but we call her Wildflower online because she’s pretty and WILD! At home we call her Taco or Bok Bok. She pinch hits wherever we need her, mainly working with her sister when they both are not homeschooling.

Can I buy 1/2 of a cow from you?

We rarely sell fractions of a cow. It takes all of our production just to supply the store. If you REALLY want 1/2 of a cow, and you’ve done it before, and you know what you are doing, AND we have it available, then you can, but you probably don’t want to. To learn why, read this post.

Can I bring my dog/cat/alpaca with me to run around?

Sorry, no. We have our own dogs and mixing ours and yours is not a good idea. People are fine, but not animals.

Can I be notified when you get (insert cut of meat here) in stock?

You can. Whenever we do pretty much anything here on the farm we post it on our blog. There is a field on the right side of the main page where you can sign up to be notified when we post something new. If we restock on something, we always post it out for everyone to see and you’ll get notified when we have your special cut back in stock. Also, if we have a special announcement we can send a quick email to all of our customers letting them know the good news.

Are your animals given …(insert bad thing here i.e. GMOs, anti-biotics, bone meal, chicken feathers, etc)

Short answer, no. Our animals are fed via their own foraging and produce from the State Farmers market in Raleigh. That’s it. No silos of corn, no feed trucks backing up. No organic grains (which is still grain with all its own issues.)

For antibiotics, we treat animals if they are sick. When we do so, we publish that information on our blog for all to see. We also tag that animal if they don’t already have an ear tag so that we can always tell which animal was treated.

Can you speak to my (church, business, moms, nutrition, business) group?

Dan is an accomplished speaker and over the years has spoken to many groups, both large and small. To discuss a speaking engagement, it’s best to reach out to him directly with details on what you have in mind. He can be reached here. 

Can I stop by and pick up steaks for dinner tonight?

You can stop by and pick up steaks, no problem. But if you want them for dinner tonight understand that they are frozen. We do not keep meat thawed and in the cooler like a grocery store. We do this for freshness (the grocery store meat was frozen, they thawed it for sale). We also do it because we are inspected by the NCDA and have our meat handlers license. They want to see our meat safe, and frozen properly.

I need a special cut of meat. Do you have it?

That depends. We get more cuts of meat than the grocery store. We keep things like feet, tongue, liver, bones, ox tail, etc. Not your typical cuts of meat. Do you need a steamboat for a party? A beef tendon for pho? An uncured pork belly for some home bacon making? Something I’ve never heard of? We can get pretty much anything if we don’t have it. You just need to wait till we take our next critter to the processor and have your order in before hand. We take a cow once per month, and pigs usually twice per month. Just reach out to me with your request and we can usually make it happen.

Are you members of any groups or do you support any organizations?

We are members of the NC agri-tourism networking association, Carolina Farming Stewardship Association, and the Farm-to-Consumer Legal Defense Fund. Dan is also on the advisory board for North State Bank.