Category: Cows

On Tuesday July 14th, I received a text message from SWMBO that one of the cows looked like she had become bloated. I was two hours away at gunsmithing school so I texted Miguel and asked him to go take a look. A little while later I checked in with him and yes she was bloated and he already had her in the head gate. We’d discussed what to do if we had any issues while I was gone and we’d agreed he’d just call the vet however Miguel decided he’d seen me put in a trocar enough times and he could do it. This was fine as I’d given him that option when we were making our plans.

I walked out of class and talked Miguel through the surgery, which was nerve racking for both of us and funny in hindsight. Miguel’s English is way better than my Spanish but there are still some words that are hard to understand occasionally, especially when you start using medical terms. After a few minutes Miguel was able to get the trocar installed and relieve the pressure on the cow. It turned out that the cow with bloat was one of our great momma cows, Sprinkles. The next day, Sprinkles surprised us and delivered this little cutie.

Sprinkles normally calves in the fall. This little calf came early as a result of the bloat. However Sprinkles is a great mom and she is doing great taking care of him. He’s was definitely born early as he acts like a day old calf even a week later. He’s doing fine though and is keeping up with everyone else.

I’ve been telling everyone that we’d be back in beef by about September but last week we took three cows to the processor earlier than expected. Yesterday we picked up a little over 1000 pounds of beef from those three cows. That means that we have all the cuts available right now, T-bones, ribeyes, roasts, filets, and of course lots of hamburger. Plus skirt steak, flank steak, flat iron steak, etc, etc.

We brought in so much beef, that I had to order another freezer just to hold it all. Even with the new freezer in place, the freezers are pretty much jam packed.

We have two freezers that are full of nothing but beef for your selection. We also had the cows cut differently so that some have t-bones, some has filet mignon. We’ve never had this much choice at once so there should be something for everyone.

In addition to all the beef we now have for you, we also have a freezer full of farm fresh, grass raised chicken. We had to borrow part of this freezer to hold some beef, and some snack sticks for Neuse River Brewing Company, whom we are anxiously awaiting to open as we’ll be on their tasting menu!

We have bacon, break fast sausage, ground pork, Boston Butts, and BBQ all waiting for you. We also have a good selection of sausage still with more on the way. I also see some racks of ribs hiding there in the bottom.

Those are five different freezers full of meat. We’ve never had this much selection or quantify before. Lord willing we should be able to maintain this for the foreseeable future so if you’re looking for some protein for the dinner table, or something to grill out for the 4th of July, email me at dan@ninjacowfarm.com and let’s get you stocked up!

So I take the Gator and Miguel and go down to get the boat. This time I’ll lift it with Miguel’s help and carry it on the Gator. We bring it back to the upper pond and I hop in and paddle over to the cow. Paddling is kind of fun, but it’s a leg workout which doesn’t add any coolness to the temperature. As I get to the cow, I’m recalling that hippos are the deadliest creatures in Africa, killing people all the time. I see the cow looking at me thinking, “That thing doesn’t have much freeboard. I probably can’t sink it, but I can knock his butt out of it and turn it over. And he just upgraded to the iPhone 6 (I’d told him earlier when I was taking his picture) which is probably in his pocket still. That would totally be worth it.”

In the end he decided to run instead. Right by Miguel and jump back into the lower pond. Sigh.

I pull the boat out of the upper pond and drag it to the lower pond. Miguel is by the cow, laughing of course. This whole thing is funny. Hot, sweaty, irritating, but funny. I launch the SS Minnow into the lower pond and paddle all the way across it to the cow who this time really doesn’t want to get out. I’m about to play bumper car with him when he finally relents and heads out of the water and thankfully back into the pasture. We collect Gators and again play bumper car with the cow to get him back to the paddock which has been reconfigured with vehicles to receive him from another direction and get him into the head gate, which we finally accomplish. I retrieve my doctor bag from the barn and prep our patient for surgery. After some quick work, I install a trocar and the bloat quickly blows off.

He’s not happy about it, but he is feeling better at this point. Rather than leave the trocar in, we go ahead and remove it and leave the wound open. By the time it starts to heal, the danger of bloat has pretty much passed, we hope. This saves us from having to do this all over again to get him back in the head gate to remove the trocar. This entire series of events took from 4:15 to 6:15, when SWMBO was calling me to go to dinner, something I was more than ready to do. But only after a shower and some time cleaning various wounds I’d picked up during the day. Hopefully today everyone behaves and we can get back to our to do list. For you careful readers, you may have noted that I didn’t mention the escaped cow. We left him in the woods where it was cool to overnight by himself. We’ll hopefully get him today and put him back with his friends.

So Miguel and I charge into the pasture with our two Gators. We don’t have horses although sometimes I wish we did on days like this. We quickly get to our patient and start herding him with the Gators back towards the barn. He is wise to what we are doing and has no intention of going. He also has four wheel drive and can turn on a dime. After a few laps of the pasture, I finally had to do to him what I’ve learned is required with these purchased steers, I had to physically turn him with the Gator. As we are running along (he’s trying to outrun the Gator) I have to match his speed, then place my front fender against his shoulder and physically push him the way I want him to go. Thank God I bought the fender guards on this Gator. They are round so they don’t cut the cow, and they are steel so he doesn’t break my fenders. There is lots of starting, stopping, running, and backing up. It’s actually kind of neat to work together like that with Miguel, working as a team with very little verbal communication.

So we get this cow into the central paddock where he runs into the wall of trucks we’ve erected. We jump off and chase him down the lane and he goes exactly where we want him to, till he gets to the last truck which is Miguel’s truck and trailer. Specifically the goose neck trailer. There is a unique feature of a goose neck trailer. It’s that there is a gap between the truck and trailer as the hitch is actually in the bed of the truck. You can see what I mean here.

Our cow, seeing that forward was the way back to the head gate instead ran right through that gap and then promptly escaped back into the main pasture because of course we’d left the gate open on that side of the paddock. Sigh.

So now we had to go get him again. We took the Gators back into battle and again played bumper cars with the cow to get him back to the barn yard. As we were working him back, he decided that he’d rather go back to the pond and ran through the fence and jumped back in the upper pond. Now I need to go get the paddle boat, drag it back to the upper pond, and do this all over. And it’s hot and we aren’t doing anything that’s actually on our to do list. It’s time to get the boat, but that’s the next post.

Not that skinny dipping in the pond is entirely out of the question. It’s just that,

1. This pond is right by the road and pretty much in full view. Not a great spot.
2. The pond has lots of green gooey stuff growing in it. Looks neat and is probably great for wild life. Not great for swimming in.
3. The last cow I had to chase tried to kill me. Being found dead in the barn is one thing. Being found naked and dead in a pond, now that’s quite another

We have an old paddle boat I haven’t used in years. My mother bought it when I was a teenager but it’s still here and still usable. I drug it, literally, from the other pond down to this pond and paddled up to the cow. He was not entirely pleased to see me and after some consideration decided he’d exit the pond and head back to dry land. I disembarked and followed on foot, getting him up to the head of the other pond and near the pasture where our other bloated cow and his friend were hanging out. Cattle like to be together so my plan was to walk him to the gate and he’d dart in to escape me and be with them.

Instead the other cow darted out to be with this guy. Sigh. I called Vicente to come down and help me, which is what I should have done in the first place. I had him walk the cows back to the gate while I guarded it to keep the cow who charged me still in the pasture. Very quickly Vicente had the cows moving. Unfortunately the cow who wasn’t bloated decided that jumping the fence was better than walking back so he escaped into the main pasture leaving the bloated cow behind. Sigh.

So Vicente walked the bloated cow back and we got him through the gate and into the pasture. By this time, Miguel has come back from the market. It’s about 100 degrees and everyone is dripping wet with sweat. We decide that the bloated cow is not going to go back into the paddock so we take pretty much every vehicle on the farm and make a hard barrier from the pasture to the head gate paddock. Usually we just use a temporary wire but we’re taking no chances this time. Trucks, trailers, tractors, are all lined up nose to tail making a 100 foot long, 100,000 pound fence. It’s quick and relatively easy. Miguel then takes the Gator to go get the cow while I watch from the fence. My Gator has four seats and I’m worried the cow might see the opening of the bench seats and try to jump through so I’m guarding that opening. After a few laps of the pasture, it’s clear that Miguel isn’t going to get the cow by himself. We quickly reconfigure the vehicle fence and I bring my Gator into the fray which is more fun than standing around watching Miguel do it. But that’s for the next post.

Since someone turned the furnace up to 11 with no warning, we’ve had to dive back into bloated cattle all of a sudden. I already mentioned the issues I had with Vanilla. Yesterday we started the day off with another bloated cow. This one was also a steer that we’d purchased with the group in February.

So with stuff still in disarray from treating Vanilla, it was time to do it again. Except this guy was at the neighbors so first thing we had to do was to get him back to the farm. This entailed corralling the horses out of their area and putting the cows in which meant herding them somewhere they didn’t want to go. Then sorting everyone out till we just had this guy. Then we had to get him onto the trailer through a loading ramp that was a few years past repair and he simply couldn’t figure out how to use. Eventually we got it done and we brought him back to the farm. Coming off the trailer it was easy to put him right into our corral and then into the head gate as you see here.

He didn’t seem to be in any distress, but he was definitely bloated. I tried one of our catheters to let the pressure out and maybe not have to put a trocar in him.

It’s pretty wild when a catheter is inserted. As the gas comes out the rumen deflates which also makes it move around. The catheter routinely moves around on it’s own as the guts squirm inside the cow. It’s a very visual look at what is going on inside and kinda weird to watch.

The popping sound you hear is liquid that is in the catheter bubbling as the air rushes out.

After letting all the air out, I turned the cow back into the paddock just off of our corral. That way if he bloated again I could put him right back in the head gate. It was blazing hot and there was no shade but I made sure he had water. It was only going to be for a couple of hours so I could observe him. Yeah right.

I ran to the recycler to drop off our cardboard recycling and just as I pulled up, Vicente called me and asked if I’d put the cow back in the pasture? Uh, no. Well he’s gone. Ugh, here we go again. Turns out he’d lifted the gate off the hinges and absconded. Fortunately he was quickly located in our main pasture in the only place that made sense on a 100 degree day.

I didn’t blame him, it looked like a good idea to me. However, while he wasn’t bloated in the holding paddock when I’d checked him 30 minutes earlier, he was bloated again while on the lam. He had to come out of the pond to be treated which was the last thing he wanted to do. So how do I get him out without stripping naked and jumping in? We will find out in the next post.

So now that that small tangent is out of the way, it’s now morning and time to move all the cows. Vanilla will not being going with everyone else. He is to stay here on the farm and convalesce.

All the trucks are set up and ready. David, my neighbor is getting his stuff set up and Miguel and Vicente arrive right on time as usual. Some quick planning and we move all the cows into the central barn yard and then into the paddock which is part of our corral.

Once the cows are in the corral, we herd them in groups into the squeeze chute and onto the trailer. First my trailer, then David’s trailer.

Putting the cows into the squeeze chute didn’t go as planned, as the cows would balk at the entrance and refuse to go in. It took all Miguel and I could do to get them in where usually it only takes one person. Something else to figure out when I have time, which I don’t.

So finally we get the cows into the squeeze chute and start working them onto the trailer.

This picture looks like we are making progress, but our cows have a habit of getting to the trailer and then turning around and coming back, which creates a log jam for all the other cows trying to go forward. The only option is to unload them all, then reload them again as a group, something we do a few times. When it goes right, it looks like this.

Miguel being in the chute with them isn’t the way we’d like it, but by this point it was what we had to do to get them loaded. My trailer was loaded, then we pulled David’s trailer into place and loaded him. Then David and I left to drive the 1.1 mile to his place. As I drove down my driveway I hear David honking his horn. Knowing he closed my gate on the trailer, and the way he’s honking, I immediately know what has happened, he didn’t lock the gate and it’s coming open. As I stop, I see I’m right as Uno, cow #1 steps off the trailer and looks at me. I quickly close the gate so nobody else steps off and David and I spent 10 minutes walking Uno back to the barn which involves some Benny Hill moments along the way but works out eventually. I’m kicking myself for not checking my own gate the whole time and wondering what ridicule I’ll get from Miguel but fortunately we’re all too busy to get into that right now. With Uno back in the pasture, we leave again and drive to David’s. As we get there, I note that the wheel on David’s trailer looks pretty bad. It lost a wheel bearing earlier which he replaced, and he was going to get a new axle soon but as he pulls into the pasture the wheel FALLS OFF! Something that could have happened on the road and not the pasture. The new wheel bearing lasted about 5 minutes before disintegrating. We drag the trailer to the paddock and unload the cows, then pull it aside to be worked on later. A few more loads and we have almost all the cows in but by this point I’m out of time and a few cows have to stay behind. As I type this, I’m listening to cows holler that are missing the rest of the herd and we are getting ready to make one last load. Hopefully it will go smoothly as once again, I’m out of time before I even start. However, that’s skipping ahead, I haven’t told you the most interesting part of the last few days…

So I try to get Vanilla out of the head gate and walk him into the barn. He won’t leave the head gate. I try talking to him, pressuring him, lying to him. Anything I can do without being aggressive or mean as he’s already had enough fun for one day. Finally I figure I’ll clean up and take everything back and put it away, and he can step out on his own. Be cool and calm and gentle with animals, I keep telling myself. Once everything is put away, I walk back to the barn yard. I’m still soaking wet from sweat but I’m almost done. All I have to do is walk him into the barn and lock him up, assuming he’s out of the head gate.

As I look, he’s not in the head gate so he did step out on his own. See, being patient works. Since I don’t see him in the barnyard, maybe he even went in the barn on his own. All I have to do is walk him into the stall and close the door. All is good.

As I round the corner of the barn, he is in fact standing in the barn yard. He spins at my entry and I see the gears in his head suddenly mesh. He drops his head and immediately charges me with all he’s got and I’m out in the open with no fence to jump or place to run. At this point he probably weighs about 900 pounds, and he has a  full head of steam up in the 15 feet he takes to reach me. This all happens in the blink of an eye.

It should be noted that this behavior is completely not acceptable from a cow on our farm. We’ve never had something like this out of any cow we’ve ever raised. This is apparently my welcome to have Charolais cows on the farm, one I’m not inclined to like. It should also be noted that while his behavior is deplorable, had you tricked me into putting my head into a metal gate and then cut a hole in my side and screwed a huge drywall anchor into my gut, my immediate reaction would be bloody revenge as soon as I get out of this metal contraption. So I understood his feelings on the matter. Unfortunately, empathy doesn’t keep you from getting run over by a pissed off steer.

So Vanilla is coming at me full gallop and aiming right for my wedding vegetables. I take a wide stance, forget all about being patient with animals, and side step his head as he reaches me, doing a pirouette that would make a ballerina jealous (adrenalin does wonders). With this move his head passes right by me and I grab his neck under my right arm and his left ear with my left hand. This lets me take the brunt of the impact on my back and go from zero to gallop in a heartbeat. It also makes sure I don’t get trampled because I can stay in front of him and control where he is going. I get a good ride for about 20 feet before he decides he is going right and I’m happy  to go left. He gallops off while I’m left standing, only missing my hat and sunglasses from the impact.

I would wish I had a video of all this but I’m sure it wasn’t as cool looking in real life as it was in my head. Plus you could probably hear me eek like a little girl when it all happened. I don’t know, I was too busy staining the back of my pants to know exactly what was going on. This was all before dinner, and all before the next day where things got interesting. Continued in the next part.

Yesterday started about day break which isn’t atypical on a farm. It was the day of the big move when all of our cows go to our neighbors to graze his grass for a few weeks. Last time we had a few uh ohs so this time we were going to do things smoothly. I started early and got everything ready. Actually I started the day before because we had a cow who became bloated and I had to treat him quickly before he died. Of course he didn’t want to go into the barn yard by himself but eventually I was able to get him in. By this time it was about 98 degrees and we were both in the sun. Once in the head gate I was able to administer a catheter I was lucky enough to have on hand (Thanks Erin!) and we started relieving pressure from this cows rumen which would allow him to breath and to stop hurting.

Because we are basically letting air out of a basketball, I inserted the needle into another area to double the amount of air being released.

As the air was bleeding off, I went around front to document who we were working on. It wasn’t really difficult since this is Vanilla, the one white cow we have. He arrived with the rest of the stockers we bought this winter and was purchased on a whim because he was an all white Charolais/Angus cross and I figured “Eh, he’s cool looking why not?” So much for that. As I’m checking out the cow who is reasonably calm at this point, I note that he seemed to buck and jump only when I’m in front of him in the head gate. Odd. This becomes important later.

Sweat dripping off of me, I decide to call the vet and make sure I’m doing all the right things. Pressure relieved, 60 CCs of DSS surfactant into the rumen, no more food tonight, water if he’ll take it. All those things. The vet says yeah sure, you are probably ok but no promises. Great. I have to leave, in fact SWMBO has already called and there is nobody else on the farm. What if this guy bloats again while I’m gone. It can happen very quickly and he can die in an hour with the heat we are having. I’m deciding whether to put in a trocar and finally to be safe I decide it’s the best thing to do. A trocar means he’s had minor surgery so he’s not sellable in the short term, but it also means he’s not dead, which also makes him very not sellable. More goodies from the doctor bag and viola! One trocar inserted. He was remarkably calm during the procedure, kind of like he knew he’d revisit this topic later. Whatever, it’s all good.

There is a little bit of bleeding but not much. Some wound spray to help keep the flies off and a  few more minutes of monitoring and he’s ready to let out of the head gate. Unfortunately that doesn’t go as planned. Continued in part two….