Every few years we have to swap bulls on the farm. Now for those of you who might not know why.
No not you, I know you know about the birds and the bees. I mean the other people.
So the way it works is when a momma cow and a daddy cow love each other very much, sometimes they make a baby cow and it is a wonderful blessing and they are a family.
Then as the years go by, the baby cow gets older. If the baby is a boy, that isn’t a problem because when he’s born, we cut, um… We fix him so he stays a boy and doesn’t become a daddy himself.
If it is a girl cow, we can’t keep her from becoming a mommy and the daddy cow, he, um. Well.
Ok look. Don’t let your kids read this unless you are ready for some conversations I can’t help you with.
Eventually the females get old enough they start looking good to the bull. Even if that bull is the same bull. So every few years, we need to either sell off our younger cows so they don’t breed or swap bulls so we don’t have bulls breeding their daughters. It was time for us to swap and luckily we had a neighbor who needed to get rid of a bull himself.
Luckily Bryan the neighbor had an older bull that was perfect for what we need. A registered Hereford bull who had already spent time at several farms and had even gone to college at NC State. Actually I think this is the first time we’ve had a college educated bull. Hmm, that should definitely go into his name. Maybe a character from Real Genius, which is a family favorite movie. Chris Knight was the main character. Nah. Chris the bull is boring. Actually I guess the movie centers around Mitch. Mitch the bull could work. But we have a Mitch moving onto the farm next month to rent a house. That would be confusing. Or Lazlo was a good name. The crazy guy who lives in the closet. Hmm, Lazlo the bull. That might work. I like it. (Pending approval by the women of the house)
Anyway, a key criteria we look for in a bull is calmness. I don’t need 2500 lbs of twitchy anger, spreading that attitude to the rest of the herd. I want a gentle giant who is a big pushover. Lazlo certainly delivered in that regard. It took me three times as long to back the trailer up to the pen than it did to load him. Bryan just got in with him and walked him up onto the trailer like he was going to Sunday church.
When we got home, Lazlo just stepped off the trailer and strolled into the pasture like he’d been here before. No excitement, no quickness to his steps. Chill would be the one word I’d use to describe him.
The ladies, who’d been without a bull for a week or so, were quite keen on checking him out and everyone integrated quickly into a new normal. Lazlo will spend a few years here and then either move onto the next farm or head off to the market. Until then we’ll enjoy him being part of our herd.