Yesterday I posted about the Washington Post article on all the different animals that can kill you. Turned out pretty much everything, except sharks, was lurking on the farm and waiting to kill you. Despite the assurances that these number are still basically like getting struck by lightning, it still gives one the heebie jeebies.
Then the author followed up his post with another article on just where in the US are you more likely to get killed by these marauding bands of animals. Huh, so NC is 4th out of 50 states. But then the author slices and dices the data a bunch of different ways so I’m sure that tells a different story.
The first slice is deaths by other animals. Aha! Now we are nowhere near the top because…. Oh. Because there are more farms in the midwest and Texas and farms are where you get killed. Uh oh.
And then we see dogs. Everybody loves dogs and, oh, The Southeast leads the US in dog deaths.
And then bees, yep. We are the winner in bees too.
And snakes. Another winner there. Oh boy.
And lastly, “Other horrible venomous things.” Guess who is number one? The South. Oh goodie. I can see the Chamber of Commerce lining up to use this article in their recruitment brochures.
Fortunately, our author has a nice closure statement for everyone so they really do feel better. “In the end, it bears repeating: you are not going to get killed by an animal. Especially if you don’t work on a farm.”
Oh great, what about those of us who DO work on a farm?!
This entire post has been tongue in cheek if you cannot tell. Do farmers get killed more often by farm animals? Yeah sure. Do surfers get bitten more by sharks? Yep. Do pilots get killed in airplane crashes more often? Of course, how else did the plane get into the air. Office workers get paper cuts. Drinkers get liver damage. Sprinters get pulled ham strings. The things you do most often are more likely to result in an accident. It’s like the statistic that you’re more likely to get hurt at home, or more likely to have a car accident within X miles of your house. I’ll most likely die covered in frozen meat, surrounded by sales tax forms I can’t get filled out properly based on the way its going currently.