Ninja Cow Farm LLC

Wednesday are going to be the days we handle CSA drop offs and pickups. Our plan is to utilize boxes that are pre-prepared for each customer by Chickadee. They will swing by sometime on Wednesday, prior to our opening at 2pm, and drop off the boxes of fresh produce. By fresh, I mean picked that morning. Each box will be named for each customer.

We will store the boxes in our climate controlled store room, or if it’s too hot, in our walk in cooler to keep everything fresh.

In addition to the boxes of produce, Chickadee will often, but not always, bring some extra produce. This will allow the CSA customer to mix and match their box of produce a bit to suit their needs and preferences. For example, maybe, like me, you don’t like beets (because they are evil). Or maybe, like my wife SWMBO, you think beets are the greatest thing ever (because she, follow the logic here, is obviously evil).

Chickadee will have some extra produce available so that maybe you put back your beets, as any sane person would, but pick up some extra spinach because, yum, spinach salad!. You still get a great box of fresh produce, but you don’t necessarily get locked into that one…weird…vegetable/fruit/thing. 

What is kholrabi anyway? Is it a vegetable? A fruit? An alien construct? I’ll take a tomato sandwich, with a side of hamburger, thank you very much.

There are only a few spots left for the Spring CSA. If you haven’t signed up yet, now is the time! Once the last spot is sold, that is it till the fall CSA.

I visited Chickadee Farm today to check in on how things are going and discuss logistics for our Wednesday CSA deliveries.

I asked how signups for the CSA program are going and found out that there are only 15 spots left for this year! We have more people than that who are interested so if you are one of the ones thinking about it, better get your name in there because once the spots are gone, they are gone. We have fliers in the store with information, or you can visit the signup page at Chickadee Farms. 

For those that don’t know, Chickadee is an organic principled farm, utilizing natural products and processes to raise all of their products.

Chickadee had just plowed some of their fields today and I was able to inspect their soil. For those that know me, I can talk dirt and grass all day. Well this soil looked excellent. Lots of organic matter and a perfect color. It was obviously well taken care of and ready to grow some awesome produce.

While we utilize chips in our operation, Chickadee uses straw (pictured above) for theirs . The straw holds moisture, holds topsoil in place, and breaks down much quicker than chips to add that much needed organic matter to the soil.

We are going to have produce boxes ready for everyone who signs up on Wednesdays. That means you can swing by and get your fresh produce, grab whatever else you need for dinner while you are here, and head for the house. It should be an easy visit to the farm for our CSA customers.

I for one can’t wait to have some fresh produce here on my table.

Uh oh. I really didn’t think this was going to happen. I mean, I “might” mention that we get our chocolate milk from our brown cows on our tours. I always do it tongue in cheek of course. And we get a good laugh from it. Don’t we? I thought people understood I was kidding.

And 16.4 million people? I don’t think we’ve had that many people through here. We do see a lot of people, but not in the millions. Of course, there is that Winston Churchill quote,

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Does this mean we are going to have to start telling the truth on our tours? How boring! I like to have fun on tours and have people laughing. I’d hate to do a boring, Ferris Bueller tour.

Spork gives most of the tours here now and when people come back into the store after the tour, I’ll usually ask them how the tour was. It routinely goes something like this.

Customer, “Great, Spork did a great job. Very informative.”

Me, “That’s great. And you got to see the (cows, piglets, baby chickens, etc)?”

Customer, “Oh yes, we loved it. They were so cute. Little (Timmy, Susie, Elvis, etc) really loved them.”

Me, “Did you have any questions that he couldn’t answer? Anything I can answer for you since I’m the farmer?”

Customer, “Oh no, he did a very good job.”

Me, “That’s great. Did you figure out the lie yet?”

Customer, “Wha…What? What lie?”

Me, “Oh, Spork always tells at least one lie during to tour to see if you’ll know the difference (totally not true). Did you figure out what it was?”

Customer, “Um, uh. No…..”

Me, “Oh, I’m sure he told you the truth this time. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

In all seriousness, I do actually tell the customer the truth. And I only do this little joke to people who seem like they would appreciate it. It always gets a laugh. But I do tell the kids that we get chocolate milk from the brown cow, and 1/2 chocolate, and 1/2 vanilla from Betsy who is white and black. So I guess I am responsible for this alarming statistic that started this whole post.

So the moral of this story is, be educated on where your food comes from. Know your farmer…and know when he’s messing with you.

Also, tours are free on Saturdays, so if you want to come and see where the chocolate milk comes from, schedule a tour for today and see for yourself.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BbAGU37A7iS/

 

I received this email many years ago from my neighbor Dustin. Dustin is now a salty farmer having been involved in fires, shootings, processing animals, and pretty much everything else that happens on a farm. You can’t really excite him at this point with farm shenanigans.

However at a time in the distant past, Dustin was a database nerd from California who knew pretty much nothing about farming and was a new tenant here on the farm.

He’d recently acquired a dog, Virginia, and he decided that she needed to be kept in the back yard, in the fence. Not wherever she decided to roam and to get in trouble.

This story is even funnier if you know the end, which is that Virginia since has run of the house and can come and go outside as she pleases. Despite this freedom, she can be found, almost incessantly, asleep on Dustin’s bed rather than outside causing any mischief.

But at this distant period of time, it was assumed she would make it her life’s goal to escape and cause havoc on the farm. Dustin, being responsible, was trying to assure she’d stay inside.

This email, which was recently unearthed from the vast archives of emails past, was the result.

So, this morning, after some poor life choices involving a very heavy roll of wire fencing, I decided to put up a hot wire to keep the dog in the back yard (and thus prevent her from eating the chickens).  Several stores later, I had a roll of wire, some insulater clippy things, and an ADU (Automatic Devil Unit) that would electrify about 10 miles of hot wire.  I brought it back to the house and, in pouring rain, started installing the clips.  I strung the wire, ran some Romex from the ADU to the fence – which I cut too long – ran some more from the ADU to the grounding rod – which I cut to short – and wired it all together.  Then I took it apart and wired it up the right way and plugged it in.  The light blinked as lights do, but there was no popping noise, I think I need to drive the ground in deeper, for which I’ll need a much heavier hammer than I have.  Still, I thought, it’s probably ok.

Now, damp from rain and perspiration, I went into the backyard to check the wire.  An amateur would have unplugged the ADU first, however, after careful consideration I concluded, “meh” and left it on.  I stood at the end of the wire, which looked fine to me, and thought that I should test it.  After all, if I wasn’t willing to get at least one shock, how could I inflict the several it would take Virginia to learn to stop biting it?  So, I decided to touch it.

Really.

Here we go now.

And, like a junior high girl dissecting a frog (like, eww) I brushed the wire with the tip of my finger.  Nothing happened, naturally causing me to snatch my hand back like I’d been hit with a hammer.  I tried again, nothing.  I touched it longer, waiting for the pulse, nothing.  I grabbed it and shook it, hoping to unclog the automatic devils.  Nada.  I drew upon my vast electrical knowledge and decided that Something Was Wrong.  I walked the perimeter and found that the wire was touching the metal fence – ah ha!  An amateur would have checked for that first, pfft.  Now, it didn’t immediately occur to me that the wire was touching the fence between me and the ADU, thus shunting the current into the ground before it got to me.  That turned out to be important.  I went back in the house, retrieved not one but several clippy things (I know, smart, right?).  While I was sure the hot wire was anything but, I nonetheless exercised caution while threading the clip onto the wire.  An amateur would have turned off the ADU first, but being not an amateur but a great fool, I decided to leave it on and just “be careful”.  One clip installed.  Cake.  Moving on.  I found another spot where the wire wasn’t touching, but if, say, we had a hurricane or very strong earthquake, it might have touched.  I threaded another clip onto the wire and tried to attach it to the fence.  It resisted, so in an effort to force it, I grabbed the steel pole driven into the ground with one hand and the wire with the other.

At this point several things happened at once, most of which I can’t remember.  What I do remember is thinking very loudly “Fu©k”, which came out verbally as “Hngh”, and letting go of the wire.  Deciding that “Safety Third” isn’t always the best policy, I unplugged the ADU before finishing the adjustments.  If the dog gets the same jolt I did and still gets out, I’m just going to buy Dan more chickens.  If she can shrug that off, I’m not messing with her.

My fingers feel salty, and my hamburger tastes like the color blue, and I think I can see glitches in the Matrix out of the corner of my eye, but I’m sure I’m fine.

Dustin

While we were out of town, I had a posted scheduled to announce the new CSA we are affiliated with for 2018. A few people have already signed up and things are looking good for 2018. I’m excited about being a drop point for a CSA here at our farm, because we’ve traditionally had lots of people ask to get produce here and until this year, I’ve not had a good solution for them.

The plan is to be a drop point for Chickadee on Wednesdays. That means for those of you who sign up, you can get your box of VERY fresh produce, your milk, eggs, hamburger, pork chops, yogurt, sauces, seasonings, etc. all at one place, with one stop, and one transaction.

When I got back to town, I checked in with Chickadee to see how things are going, and I was informed that she’d been allowing some time for our folks to sign up before advertising out to the general public. She also informed me that the grace period is ending the end of January which is a few days away!

I talked to Jeanette (remember I’ve been gone) yesterday and she said we had a bunch of people interested and who were talking about it. If you are interested, now is the time to get your name on the list over at Chicakadee. Once all the spots are sold for the spring, that is it, no more signups! So contact Chickadee and let them know you want to try the CSA program this spring. We look forward to seeing you on Wednesdays.

Thanks to Erin, I have some pics of the farm all snowed in. 

It really was pretty. I mention Erin took the pics because we sorta missed the snow. We were busy farming elsewhere.

Out of state.

Actually out of the country.

The cold snap that brought snow and awful cold to NC actually got it down to the low 70s and even 60s one day in the Bahamas. I know, boo hoo, right? Except we didn’t pack for cool weather. Oops.

We still had fun but we are glad to be back.

Feeding the pigs was a highlight.

Well, except for Spork and I who feed pigs all the time.  We let the girls do all the pig stuff while we secured the boat and wondered, somewhat grumpily, where the girls were when we were feeding our own pigs routinely. Oh well, everyone had fun. Fun to go, fun to be home.

I was looking for something on our website and came across this post from 2016. I thought it was funny then. I think it is funny now, so I’m reposting it.

College Humor is a channel I routinely visit on Youtube. I don’t always love what they do but this one was pretty close to home and I thought I should share it. It’ll get your Monday started off right. There is a little bit of language right in the middle so don’t play it around the kids. Or the boss if you’re at work.

 

The laws covering farms and farmers have been changed, and oddly I haven’t seen anyone in our industry talking about it. Either this went under everyone’s radar or there was something no bueno in the changes, dunno.

Let’s take a look at what they did, but before we do that, let me say that a large part of why I farm is because there are such favorable laws in North Carolina concerning farmers. We are exempt from building codes, business licenses, annexation. The list goes on and on. Here is a great article written in 2011 about farming and farmer protection laws.

That article is a few years old. The bill that was just passed this last session updates a few key parts of that article. The bill itself was Senate Bill 615. If you are so inclined, you can read it for yourself. It’s easier than you think. The changes to the law are the parts that are underlined, the deleted parts are the parts that are struck through, so it’s easy enough to see what was changed.

I’m going to unpack the bill a bit here, at least the highlights. I have a number of fellow farmers who follow my blog so hopefully this will put the legalese into English for them and serve as a reference for me later. For clarity, I am not a lawyer, nor have I ever played one on TV. This is my read of the new law and my opinions as a small farmer. My feeling overall is that laws of this sort are beneficial to farmers and I welcome them.

The format I’ll use here is to post a header from the law, then I’ll unpack the meaning of what is going on.

The first section is:

EXPAND FACILITIES EXEMPT FROM EMC RULE Section 2.(a)

This is an air quality rule. It doesn’t make farmer facilities exempt forever, just until the rules are readopted by the controlling agency. I’m guessing the actual exemption or change in the law will be once they are readopted under clarification from the legislature.

Basically somebody with some voice with the legislature got cross with the air regulatory people. Rather than trying to change the law, the legislature directed that the rules be reevaluated and re-implemented per their already written laws, which probably already exempted the farmer in question. In other words, they overstepped their bounds and were told to go fix it, no law needed to be changed.

PRESENT-USE VALUE CHANGE Section 3.(a)

This is the big one in farming. Having farmer property tax rates on your farm is the difference between farming and not farming for most people. The changes here are that grazing fees, like I pay for our leased farm, are specifically allowed now by this law. Also bee keeping has been added as well. Basically some local authority must have tried to say to a farmer that grazing rent doesn’t count, where crop rent does. Stupid, but I’m guessing a regulator tried it. Good, this one helps.

ABANDONED LIVESTOCK AMENDMENTS SECTION 4.

This is a whole rewrite on abandoned livestock. I’m sure this is a problem, but not one I deal with. Basically it makes the farmer/owner responsible if they abandon the animals. Makes sense.

CLARIFY THE AUTHORITY OF THE DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE AND CONSUMER SERVICES TO ADOPT AND ADMINISTER FOREST PRACTICE GUIDELINES FOR PURPOSES OF THE SEDIMENTATION POLLUTION CONTROL ACT SECTION 6.(a)

There is a whole big section on Forestry. Nothing in there is too big of a deal to me. Some authority to inspect to make sure forestry practices are being followed, some pay changes, etc. Nothing that I see affecting me or your average farmer.

CLARIFY ACTIVITIES INCIDENT TO THE FARM AND AGRITOURISM SECTION 8.(a)

This one is pretty big. The legislature continues to expand and clarify their intent that farmers and farm buildings are to be left along by local code authorities. When we built a barn when I was a kid I was exposed to this when we got our permit. The permit said, “No permit required. Exempt.” I asked the guy at the county office what to do if an inspector showed up anyway. He said the call the Sheriff and have him removed for trespassing. That was nearly 30 years ago, and it’s just gotten better for farmers since then.

A big question over the past few years has been what is agritourism. If you host a wedding, does that mean your barn is no longer a barn? What if you have a rodeo and charge admission? There have been people trying to claim that having a wedding does indeed mean your barn is no longer a barn and therefore you are no longer a farm.

This section continues the trend of defining pretty much whatever you do on your farm as farming or agritourism. It also defines that residences are exempt from code enforcement as well as farm buildings, whether that residence is for the owner, manager, or lessee. Doesn’t matter. That’s pretty powerful as it means as a farmer we can build the buildings we need to support our farm, up to and including our homes, without having to put up with the mother may Is from the city/county.

This probably isn’t as big of a change as it sounds like, since most farmers I know don’t ask and don’t tell already. You’re a mile off the road and nobody sees anyway, just build it and get on with farming. It’s not like we’re back here dealing with HOA rules. There is a provision that says you need to meet current code, so it’s not the wild West.

There is a provision in this section that also removes the provision of having a farm number from FSA as a qualifying condition for being declared a bona fide farm. For most people, this is no big deal as there are plenty of ways for a real farm to qualify. It also keeps the FSA folks from having to be the police. They are instead supposed to be supporters of farming. I know they had people applying for farm numbers just to get an exemption.

Being exempt from building code certainly invites people to commit fraud. This section adds a penalty for people who claim farm status, build a building, and then loose farm status. Certainly makes sense to me.

Ҥ 143-138. North Carolina State Building Code.

So residences are exempt from inspection, but must follow the building code. However non-residence farm buildings don’t need to follow code. If you think this through it makes sense. I built a smoke house on my farm. There is no reason I should have to put in handicap access, emergency egress, windows that are up to code, etc. It’s a smoke house. It’s a closet that almost catches on fire but doesn’t quite. Same for a storage shed, a horse stall, etc. These things are understandably shabby and make do. We build ours from lumber sawn on the farm, not code specified lumber from Lowes.

This section clarifies that farm buildings are indeed exempt if they are on a bona fide farm. It also continues additions to what is a farm building, bringing in therapeutic equine facilities, something that is added in various sections of this law.

ELIMINATE COUNTY AUTHORITY TO ADOPT ZONING REGULATIONS GOVERNING SWINE FARMS SECTION 9.(a) 

Ever hear that there is a lot of pork in politics. Here it is. Never doubt the pork industry has friends in NC. There are several sections in this law rolling back limits or requirements on the pork industry. I’m generally in favor of less government period so in that vein, I’m good with it. And I won’t use the words special interest here at all.

ALLOW FOOD COMPLIANCE INSPECTORS TO DRIVE STATE VEHICLES WITHOUT STATE TAGS AND BUMPER STICKERS SECTION 10. 

Now our inspectors have obvious cars and government plates. With this change they can sneak up on you. Doesn’t matter to me, we do everything the same regardless. Plus we have a good relationship with our inspector. He’s a good guy and tries to teach before he enforces which I appreciate. From what I hear they all are not that way though so your mileage may vary.

Skipping a bunch of stuff and then

EXEMPT FARM TRUCKS THAT STAY IN STATE FROM HAVING A USDOT IDENTIFICATION NUMBER SECTION 15. 

This one affects us. We don’t get a normal inspection on our vehicles. They are inspected under DOT rules. However per those rules I’m supposed to put DOT numbers on the side like a class 8 truck. To be honest, I’ve just never done it and gotten away with it. I didn’t want numbers plastered all over the side of my trucks. Now, thankfully, I’m legal to do what I was already doing. This only applies if your vehicle stays in the state of NC. If you go out of state, then federal rules apply.

EXEMPT FARM VEHICLES ENGAGED IN INTRASTATE COMMERCE FROM CERTAIN FEDERAL MOTOR CARRIER SAFETY REGULATIONS SECTION 17.

This goes along with the previous one. No numbers are needed, and farm trucks are exempt from the safety rules as well. I love sections like this. There is a long and winding list of all the things the state can do, you have to do, the penalties if you don’t do, the paperwork you have to complete you proved you did it, etc. Then at the end is a little section that says, “Oh, except for farmers. They are exempt.” I think the word exempt is my favorite word in the English language.

AUTHORIZE WINE SALES AT FARMERS MARKETS SECTION 19. 

This one helps our blossoming wine and spirits industry. And with it our friends down at Adams Vineyards. I’m glad to see this one. This means revenue and opportunities for NC. Not just farmers, all people in NC. Regulation is what has held this back, I’m glad to see any reduction in regulation.

There is some stuff about the sales tax exemption. It’s yada yada.

AMEND G.S. 95-79 SECTION 20.5.(a)

Lastly, there is a provision basically making unions, or purchase contracts that require union labor, outlawed in NC for farmers as well. You can have a union, but you cannot bind the farmer nor can you force payments from wages directly to the union (how they get their money).

This is a big deal if you are a large commodity farmer selling into the open market. It’s common for large companies to be unionized, especially Northern and Mid-Western companies. Then the union requires that who they do business with is also union. This is a way of pushing unions into non-union areas. The seller cannot negotiate this away as both businesses are bound. However this law makes that provision illegal on its face. The farmer cannot be bound by the provision under NC law, so the two businesses can trade with one another and neither are in violation.

If a group wants to unionize and pay membership voluntarily, then they can by my read. However its my experience that unions don’t work unless membership and payments are compulsory so basically this means farms are not a place where unions can take root. I’ve seen some efforts here or there to unionize farm workers so I’m guessing this is a measure against that movement as well.

And that’s the end. All in all, a number of positive steps for farmers in NC.